Shake, rattle and roll

I wonder if it was an omen that there was a 5.1 earthquake on my birthday?

Well, I hope this year is better! I been through a lot of painful drama last year and pray this one will be better. So I did my tarot cards and got a wonderful reading, from there lips to God's ear!

It was weird yesterday. I went with my mom to my favorite Malibu cafe for my birthday Paradise Cove. And while there I notice something strange, the waves got real big and there were no sea birds on the water then in a few minutes the earthquake hit. It was at first a hard hit then a rolling feeling. Nothing came off the walls but you could feel the shake.

What a way to start your birthday!

Put another candle on my birthday cake

Today is my birthday and as a gift I want to thank everyone for their kind words. Therapy is going well. I still break out in tears for no reason and have becomed a little withdrawn but I am healing! Bless you all for all your kind words! Peace and blessings! Love!

Alive & well- sort of

I want to thank everyone for their kind words about my miscarriage- it was very kind and comforting-I didn't write and still can write too many details how I got in the condition in the first place- the cold hard fact is that is was due to being a victim of rape. I'm getting help just feel a little numb. Thanks for all your love.

The Yellow Wall Paper

Only in America can a hospital look like a luxury hotel but then for the price they charged me I could have a luxury suite with full food service! I had a miscarriage. I wasn't even aware I was pregnant! How stupid can you be? I did gain a little weight but I thought by tummy problems were due to the heat for because of an auto - accident I had when I was 19 I was told I could never have children. I was on the pill to regulate my cycles but this year my doctor took me off it saying the hormones could cause cancer. So after my yoga class I thought I started my cycle was was bleeding real hard. I had to change my Tampon and pad every half hour. I was taken to the hospital and I was told I was having a miscarriage! Now I have Post Pardon Depression. I thought you had to have a baby to get Post Pardon Depression but my doctors say due to the hormones changes in my body this is not rare. I had no idea how intense depression can be. I don't weep I just curl up in a ball and want to die. Now I understand what that poor woman went through in the short story "The Yellow Wall Paper" where she goes completely mad! If you haven't read it check it out it's by Charlotte Perkins Gilman. In her days such matters were unknown.