Electra sings the Blues

I rarely speak. let alone write, about my journey through mourning over my mother's death, for this is a nation, where our mantra is, "Move on with your life". It has been almost two years since my mother's death and I still feel a little numb with life, let alone moving on. Not that I just stay at home watching Reality TV all day. I been doing that great job search;and thanks to this Great Recession, I have been given more frustration and road blocks in my journey through mourning. Ironically, the years of being my mother's care-giver, I felt empowered and in control of my life. Now,I feel my life is being blown like a leaf in a hurricane. But, I realize I am not alone in this Titanic Recession and there is not enough life-boats of jobs to save a sinking crew. So,I still count my blessings and keep in touch with the outside world. But there are days, weeks, I want to entomb myself like Electra and forget the outside world. So, to venture out from the comfort of my humble home, I get on the 605 freeway to the 210 to Vroman's Bookstore in Pasadena and sit in on an author event. Most of the writers are very interesting. But I just can't help but wonder, how many of these writer's published works will still be read in future years? I think of the great, passionate, American, writer John Dos Passos and who still reads him? A few weeks ago, I was one of only five poeple who attended a writer's event at Vromnan's. I bought his book, out of pity, not out of an interest in reading his book. He was a middle-age, English/Pakistanian man, who wrote a book about being a Muslim man after 911. He boasted about all the book events he attended and seemed more interested in telling us how "you too can be a published writer", than giving any insight into his life. It was shameless self-promotion. When I asked him if he was interested in writing a novel , he said he didn't have the skill to write characters or plot. "Well" I thought,"you may be a writer but you are no author!". But he has a literary agent! The times we live in! Then, I thought, who will be reading this person's book in 20 years; or even next year? Still, this event turned on that little light blub in my head, if this man can made his dream of being a published writer come true; what is keeping me from following my dream? We may be in a Recession, but to take a quote from the Great Depreession from FDR:'There is nothing to fear but fear itself!"

Rest in peace Ray Bradbury & may the force be with you!

Today I learned that Ray Bradbury, passed away. Ray Bradbury was the first Science Fiction writer I was assigned to read in high-school; not only his great first novel ,"Fahrenheit 451" but some of his short stories. He was not just a writer of science fiction but was more a Greek chorus, singing songs of warnings to where he thought our world's technology was leading us. I think that is why my Freshman year English teacher had us read "Fahrenheit 451". For it shows a world where people got their reality from a wall sized, screen TV and the written word is banned! I love the part when the hero, Guy Montag, was no longer able to soar up the fire pole for his mind has been enlighten to logic by reading! His books and short stories, filled my mind with awe, chills, thrills and helped keep me sane through those frustrating years of high school. ' I had the opportunity to see him often at the Comic Con or book signings at Vroman's Bookstore in Pasadena. The last time I saw him, was a little heart-breaking. It was about four years ago, on Halloween day, at Vroman's Bookstore, in Pasadena, California. He was in a wheel chair and he was very weak and you felt he wasn't exactly there. He stuck his tongue out while he signed your books and couldn't hear your words of praises or really see you too well. But it was wonderful to see an American living legend. He was a sweet old man who love candy. One fan gave him a basket full of snack sized candy bars and he was so thrilled over the gift, he grabbed one tiny Snicker candy bar and ate it, like a greedy child who couldn't wait to dive into his Halloween bag of treats. Some of his books, captured American, small town life and gave small town America Goth glamour. He inspired many writers and artists and will be missed. I hope he is giving angels goose bumps with his tales of life on this small planet. Rest in peace Ray !

Between a rock & a hard place

Well; today I did my civic duty and voted but it was with a heavy heart I entered into the polling booth! I just feel deep down in my bones that it makes no difference who or what I voted for! Three & half years agom I voted for a man who promiosed "Hope & Change". Well, there is little change and hope is an idea that brings no comfort. The banks are ranking in the cash, while the money I have in these banks are giving me less than one percent interest on my money. The money they use to grow their business. I feel like taking all my cash out and putting it in my mattress. My job future is less than zero. And the choices I have is to a man who offers little hope & change to a right-wing man who will offer change, but not the the kind of change I want to see! And the band plays on!