Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Death where is thy sting?
Today I took my mother to the doctor. She's been feeling very weak lately and her pain has increased. While waiting in that tiny room they put you in, waiting for the doctor to enter , both mom & I fell asleep. I'm exhuasted from my pain and meds and mom exhausted from her pain and meds. When the doctor walked into the room he was rather shocked to see us both dosing away. Seeing these thin, fragile people so ill, shrunken to half of what they were in their youth made me realize how cruel aging can be. One thing that got me into yoga were the inspiring teachers like Frank White (who was 65 before he took his first yoga class) who was in his 70's when I took his class and was tall, strong and gave me the hardest yoga class I ever had! I remember one yoga teacher say "You're a young as your spine." and I believe him! Keep that spin strong and flexible!
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About 3 years ago I dropped into a black hole – four months of absolute terror. I wanted to end my life, but somehow [Holy Spirit], I reached out to a friend who took me to hospital. I had three visits [hospital] in four months – I actually thought I was in hell. I imagine I was going through some sort of metamorphosis [mental, physical & spiritual]. I had been seeing a therapist [1994] on a regular basis, up until this point in time. I actually thought I would be locked away – but the hospital staff was very supportive [I had no control over my process]. I was released from hospital 16th September 1994, but my fear, pain & shame had only subsided a little. I remember this particular morning waking up [home] & my process would start up again [fear, pain, & shame]. No one could help me, not even my therapist [I was terrified]. I asked Jesus Christ to have mercy on me & forgive me my sins. Slowly, all my fear has dissipated & I believe Jesus delivered me from my “psychological prison.” I am a practicing Catholic & the Holy Spirit is my friend & strength; every day since then has been a joy & blessing. I deserve to go to hell for the life I have led, but Jesus through His sacrifice on the cross, delivered me from my inequities. John 3: 8, John 15: 26, are verses I can relate to, organically. He’s a real person who is with me all the time. I have so much joy & peace in my life, today, after a childhood spent in orphanages [England & Australia]. God LOVES me so much. Fear, pain, & shame, are no longer my constant companions. I just wanted to share my experience with you [Luke 8: 16 – 17]. God sent his Son into the world to reconcile us to Himself (Col 1: 20.) Jesus Christ came not to tell us the answer to the universal problem of evil, but to overcome evil, sin and death by His everlasting love. Division and dissension, hatred and fear, aggressive power and exploitation could be conquered only by a gentle, suffering love unto death. By freely sacrificing his human life in dying for us, Jesus in His humanity was raised to glory by His Father’s Spirit and is now able to live within us.
Peace Be With You
Micky
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