Last night I had a stressful dream. I dreamt I was taking a class at Rio Hondo College, the campus is behind Rose Hills Cemetery. I dreamt I was having a sexual affair with the class room instructor (a very much older rather unattractive man with gray hair beard not my type), he took me to an underground borough for our sexual tryst (what were we groundhogs?) it wasn't until I entered the borough I realized I was in my own grave.
I'm been haunted by dark thoughts of death lately. My mom's failing heatlh, my fear of being alone without a reason to live is doing a number on me.
This afternoon after class I went up to the Buddhist pagoda temple atop Rose Hills to meditate on a path to right action. The place is magical with a gaint Golden Buddha in the center of the temple. I always feel peaceful going there. Next to the Greek Orthox Church in Alhambra that is my favorite place to pray. There is a painting of a gorgeous Holy Mother veiled in blue with a gold star and a child Christ in her arms on the the dome's ceiling that is just breathtaking!
I felt better but then went home to do income taxes and now feel stress again.
Death and taxes!